It doesn’t matter if it’s a family, house, overseas holiday or collection of antique plates, I need something. I need that purpose.
I can’t coast through a 9-5 life without something exciting waiting at the finish line. Most of the time even exciting won't do - it has to be extroadinary.
This is the reason why I wanted to challenge myself while I was on my holiday with a list of ‘things I had to do’ while I was in the USA and Canada.
It’s also the reason why I’m slowly losing my mind now that I’m home. After a year of putting my time and effort into the holiday and the adventure, I don’t know what’s next.
The next challenge, the next goal, the next dream, will hopefully reveal itself soon.
Now, when I put this list together more than three months ago, I said that if I could knock off everything, the trip would have been a success. It was one of those rare moments in life where I was right.
It added an element of fun that I wasn’t expecting. It gave quiet days more purpose. It turned little moments into big moments.
Luckily, I had family and friends to help me along the way and, luckily, I was able to capture most of the moments I’m talking about.
Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
Drink beer out of a red cup
During my first night in Toronto, I was taken to an ‘eviction’ house party and upon entering, I saw the fabled red cups. The same red cups we have all seen in every TV show, every movie and every bit of footage that involved Americans drinking at parties.
Hands shaking, pulse racing, Canadian accents and the word ‘abote’ ringing in the air, I poured in some vodka and coke and took a sip…
To my shock and disappointment, it tasted like vodka and coke. The cup had no magical taste-make-betterer powers.
So, I still have no idea why they drink out of red cups. I have no idea why they don’t mix it up with green cups, orange cups or something cooler like my Bugs Bunny cup, but it was fun ‘testing’ the cup’s powers all night and knocking the first thing off the list.
Start writing a book
On the scenic train ride from Toronto to Montreal, I took out my baby laptop and had a crack at this book business. There is something about travel and solitude that makes writing easier – it provides an inspiration that I can’t find anymore.
The thing is slowly coming along. I won’t bother anyone with the details until it’s done.
The release date is set for January 2042.
Attend all sports in season
Between baseball, football, basketball and hockey, there are two days in the USA calendar year that don’t have some kind of professional sport being played.
For you gamblers out there, that’s 364 chances to go bankrupt.
I loved every game I went to. Loved the roar of the home crowd at baseball games, loved the pace and violence of ice hockey, loved catching a foul ball in Toronto, loved the over-use of the national anthem, loved the hot dogs, loved the beer…. Didn’t love garlic fries – very nearly threw up on the old lady next to me at a Mariners game.
Worst invention ever Seattle.
I was able to get to four baseball games (Toronto v Baltimore, Seattle v Boston, Oakland v Baltimore and Chicago v Pittsburgh), an ice hockey game (Buffalo v Carolina) and a Major League Soccer game in Toronto (Toronto v some Mexican team).
I couldn’t get to a football or basketball game. The first week of the NFL season fell on the weekend I was in NY and tickets were astronomical so I couldn’t make it and unfortunately, the NBA is still in lockout due to a player strike.
Drive left-handed car without crashing
For two months, every time I went to get into a car, I walked over to the left side like an idiot while the driver patiently waited for me to realise I wasn’t in Australia.
During the first few weeks, I was sure I was going to die every time my cab driver flew down the wrong side of the road.
Somehow, I survived.
With a couple of days left and during a rare sober moment, Canadian friend Nadine bravely let me drive her Mazda around the quiet country town of Muskoka.
Four passengers put their lives at risk and through the grace of God (and the barren, empty roads) I got them back to our cottage.
Give homeless guy money
I can count on one hand the amount of homeless people I’ve seen in Melbourne. On the times I have seen them, they never begged me for anything.
To say I was unprepared for what was waiting for me in both Canada and the US is an understatement.
In most cities, the homeless were literally on every street corner and they were never shy about asking for money.
In most cases it was a sad sight. In others, it was annoying. On the rare occasion it was kind of entertaining.
My theory for giving a handout was that if they were going to get my money, they had to earn it. They had to be clever and creative.
Some of my favourite lines included:
“Buddy, can I borrow your ATM card? I’ll take out $20 and give it right back, I swear.”
“That guy over there is asking for a dollar, I’ll take a quarter, what makes more sense fiscally to you?”
“I don’t want any money, I just want food-money. Food-money is different.”
The winner of my homeless donation was the guy pictured – his sign was the best I saw for the entire two months.
Win a game of beer pong
When I got to LA, my hostel was a thing of beauty. A bar with cheap drinks, live music every night and, most importantly, a custom-made beer pong table.
This was my best chance to knock this challenge off the list.
On a quiet night, I wondered down into the bar and started playing.
After 4-5 games of failure, that resulted in more alcohol and less motor skills, I teamed up with ‘Freo Dan’ from Perth and we got the job done against two guys from Germany.
To say I paid for my victory the next day is an understatement.
Learn a new drinking game
Growing up, drinking games were never big with my mates. We’d usually just go out to a pub/club or have a drink playing poker. So, when it comes to drinking games, I’m an absolute novice.
I think this is where the Yanks and Canucks have it over us. They do ‘home drinking’ with a bit more enthusiasm – a bit more fun.
Some of the games I learned included ‘flip cup’, ‘spoons’ and we drank while playing a card game called Phase 10.
For the record, I don’t think I came close to winning once in any of the above.
Hit 26 black on roulette in Vegas
26 is my number. On the odd occasion that I play the horrible, horrible game that is roulette, that’s where I focus all of my hope and most of my bets.
While in Vegas, we were having a lot of fun (and a fair slice of luck) playing black jack, so roulette took a back seat for the first two nights. On the third night, I found a table and ticked this goal off the list.
It cost me $50, but eventually, 26 came up, I won most of my money back, escaped the table filled with drunken Mexicans and got in trouble for using my camera to take this photo.
Have a Chicago deep dish pizza
When I told an American friend of mine about this list and the fact I was planning to visit Chicago, he demanded I try a deep dish pizza.
It wasn’t a recommendation, it was an order.
So, after a few days in Chicago, making the most of the passion for sport, food and fun, I found my pizza place.
It was a Sunday afternoon and I had made the mistake of committing to a three-hour wait to go up outside Sears Tower for 15 minutes. An Aussie travel buddy and I were tired, hungry and sunburnt when we wondered into a little Italian restaurant that made the famous pizzas.
They lived up to the hype.
Set up more like an Aussie meat pie than a traditional pizza, the toppings and ingredients were stuffed on the inside… and it was delicious.
The pizza was one of the many beautiful things that expanded my waist over the two months.
See a live gig
This one was hard.
After three weeks of missing my favourite bands by a day or two as I moved from city to city, I finally caught some luck in San Diego.
A young, up-and-coming band called Imagine Dragons were playing at an old, run-down club close to where I was staying.
I had downloaded the new Imagine Dragons album only a week or two before the holiday and it was on high rotation for most of the trip. The band is from Las Vegas and has the potential to be very very big, really really soon.
I even met the lead singer of the band before the show - Dan Reynolds – really cool guy.
With old Contiki friend AJ De Paolo down with me, the band provided the perfect backdrop as we caught up on our Europe days and had about 15 drinks too many.
Great show, great night.
Don't get shot/don’t get robbed
I am completely bullet-free and if you’re not counting all the times I was ‘robbed’ by dealers in Las Vegas, I escaped thieves too.
Apart from one dicey moment where I was approached by a gang in downtown Seattle while all alone and very, very scared, I never feared for my life and I never even witnessed a crime, which… was a little bit of a letdown.
Get lost in NY - disgustingly lost
Once you get use to New York, it’s actually a really, really easy city to navigate. Every street is numbered, there are world-famous landmarks everywhere and the people are surprisingly helpful.
But, those that know me know that I can still find a way to get lost… easily.
On my first day in the city, I had to take the subway from the airport into the city.
The subway got me. I missed my stop, turned around and missed it again.
Finally, with some help, I got out of the subway, lugged my 25kg suitcase up what must have been 600 stairs and started wondering around the city.
Two hours, two wrong buildings and one awkward conversation with a homeless guy later, I found my hostel and the fun began.
Supersize something
So, it turns out that after the PR nightmare that was the movie ‘Supersize Me’, McDonald’s stopped supersizing their food!
This was the conversation I had with the guy behind the counter in one of the thousands of McDonald's in New York.
“Can I please have a supersized coke buddy?”
“Sorry sir, we don’t supersize anymore.”
“What? No! Can you grab a bucket and pour coke into it, just for old-time sake? I need this.”
“No.”
“… I’ll grab a large fries then.”
Turns out their large fries are almost double the size of our large fries in Australia, so I’m counting this as a win by default.
Eat a NY pretzel/food cart hotdog
I had put this off for as long as I could because every time I saw a hotdog stand in NY, it was offensive to all five senses.Eventually, I bit the bullet. The hotdog was horrible and the pretzel made me thirsty – but, I didn’t get food poisoning so I’m counting it as a win.
Full day on the beach doing absolutely nothing
These were my favourite days. Why? I’ll let the pictures answer that question.
Honourable mentions
Appearing on the Channel 10 news
This girl’s hair forming the perfect ‘s’ on her back
Catching the baseball on the first day of the trip
Surviving a vicious snake attack in Toronto
Squirrel!!
Well, I’ve milked all the inspiration, writing and attention I can out of this holiday. Thanks for coming along on the ride with me.
Time to find a new goal – a new tool to annoy people with.
Till next time, take care.
