Like every other kid, I pined for video games, bikes, toys and complete immunity from unloading the dishwasher, but I would have given all that up for something much more important - a Collingwood premiership.
Rightly or wrongly, my parents brought us up with a passion for all sports, especially football. This never correlated into any physical talent to speak of, but the scene was set for a lifetime of entertaining ups and downs.
The older I got, the more the passion grew. The more the passion grew, the more desperate I got for success. The more desperate I got for success, the more I had my heart broken.
This vicious cycle continued to haunt me until October 2, 2010.
At 24, masquerading as an adult, I had seen a fair bit in life, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, breathtaking and heartbreaking. Nothing would prepare me for the day that I finally got what I wanted.
Here’s what I remember…
9.30am: Awake. I complete my zombie walk from bed to the shower and slowly become a human being again.
10.15am: The usual morning routine – Brush teeth, sneak a quick gulp of milk from the carton and wonder around the house aimlessly for 10 minutes.
10.30am: Crisis. I can’t find my lucky Collingwood scarf. Crisis!!
Collingwood can’t win without the scarf!
We’re ruined!
Wait...wait…crisis averted, it was right in front of me.
10.35am: Get picked up by great mate Brendan, throw drinks into his eski, make our way to the MCG.
11.15am: Get to the mighty MCG, open up my first cold beer and take in a perfect spring day in Melbourne.
There’s a buzz in the air. I love that moment before a big game when everyone at the stadium still has hope and excitement.
11.30am: We take out a football for a kick. With hundreds of people sitting around enjoying barbecues, I decide to go up for a big mark, slip and start my big day by eating a mouthful of dirt.
It wasn’t bad enough to fall, but I think I seriously injured my hip. With everyone watching on and small children laughing at me, I soldiered on.
12.00pm: We make our way inside the ground, put some bets on and find our seats.
1.00pm: Lionel Ritchie headlines the pre-game entertainment. 40+ year old woman are uncontrollable. The rest of us were just happy we didn’t have to sit through INXS again.
2.00pm: The nerves are unbearable. After such a long season and the drama of a drawn grand final, I don’t think I’d ever recover from a loss.
2.30pm: First bounce! Collingwood start like a house on fire, putting the first two goals on the board. The crowd is unbelievable.
2.45pm: The Saints go forward, break the Collingwood zone and the ball makes its way to Nick Riewoldt in the goal square. Point-blank-bloody-range.
No! Smothered on the goal line! Heath Shaw! What the hell!?
Collingwood fans look at one another, hope in their eyes, too scared to say the obvious for fear of reprisal – That’s a sign. This is our day.
3.50pm: After the Saints squandered chances in the second and third quarters, Collingwood kick clear. Dane Swan runs into an open goal, putting Collingwood up by 46 points.
I let myself believe.
4.20pm: The last quarter is party time. After a Dale Thomas goal, I hug everyone around me.
At this point I look down at my phone. No signal. Thanks so much Vodafone. Way to let me down.
It’s very hard to believe this is actually happening. I get Brendan to hit me to make sure.
4.45-ish-pm: The final siren goes, Collingwood win the premiership.
Collingwood fans embrace. Everywhere I turn people are crying. I start tearing up.
We sing the song 25 times, watch the players do a lap of honour and decide to head back to the car and begin our celebrations.
Still can’t believe it. Still waiting for the world to explode.
5.45pm: The scenes outside the ground are unbelievable. A guy steps up to me and says, “YOU, hug me NOW!”
There is no such thing as strangers now. If you’re wearing black and white, get ready for a deep, meaningful embrace.
6.30pm: We get back to Brendan’s jeep, open up the eski and I have the sweetest-tasting beer of my life. With the MCG in the backdrop and pie fans in song everywhere, we start making phone calls to family and friends.
8.00pm: 40,000 fans pack into neighbouring AAMI Stadium as Eddie McGuire addresses the faithful on stage.
Every loss and dissapointment is forgotten as he says proudly, "Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Collingwood!"
The rest of the night was a haze of singing, drinking and one very expensive taxi home.
Following a premiership team… I could definitely get use to this.
