As I sit at home, unemployed, bored senseless, watching my bank account take more hits than a girl dating Chris Brown, I feel the time is right for the self-indulgence of a blog.
Dom still has work to do to become an adult - revelation #32: It's one thing to make big life decisions. It's a whole other thing to actually follow through and live with them.
That, unfortunately, is the reality I now face after turning my life upside down in the pursuit, foolish or not, of inspiration during my holiday.
The first step before taking a long holiday: Unemployment.
Unemployment. The word itself is shameful to say.
For many people, a job isn't just about a wage and 9-5, it's how we define ourselves, it's how we differentiate ourselves, it's how we give our lives meaning. You don't even have to like your job, a purpose and goal will do for most.
The alternative is not a pretty picture.
Sure, my decision was made with a holiday in mind and I won't have to worry about finding work for a few months yet, but this preview of what's to come is not an attractive one.
I knew unemployment would eat into confidence and identity, but I never realised how much it would sap energy levels.
Doing nothing is incredibly tiring.
Today I made one phone call to my insurance company and wrote an email to a friend. I had to sit down afterwards and have a drink of water because of the unbridled effort it had taken.
For the past four years, I dreamt of sleeping in till 11am and watching DVD's in my trackies till the sun went down. Let me tell you, that gets old after about two days.
Laziness is creeping in. You know you're becoming a lazy person when you start to justify and believe your own lies.
You were right not to get off the couch for three hours, that spider on the ceiling could have been provoked by movement. You were right not to go for that run, you could have caught a cold. It's normal to wear the same trackies for four days in a row...
Goals you set for yourself while unemployed are so much smaller. Things you would usually cram into two hours on a Saturday all of a sudden take the best part of nine hours. "Today I'm going to get my hair cut and walk the dog. May god have mercy on my soul."
I'm needy, I'm lonely and I have way too much time alone with my thoughts. I feel like these are the pre-requisites to a flaming skull tattoo or mental breakdown.
The second step of a big holiday: Remembering why you planned the big holiday.
Amid all the planning, last-minute booking and reflection on everything I'll be missing while I'm gone, doubt had crept in.
What if this turns out to be a flop? What if I can't do it on my own? What if they find the 72kgs of cocaine strapped to my waist?
There was even a time when I didn’t want to go. Things were piling up that I couldn’t leave behind, change was scary and I had everything I wanted at home.
It's been so long since I travelled that I forgot why I wanted to do it.
One day, when I’m an old man, I'll wake up, pee four times in 15 minutes, then, I won't wonder what it would have been like to travel the world in the prime of my life. After I'm finished not wondering, I'll pull my pants up to my waist, complain about the younger generation and be genuinely concerned about a report on dodgy supermarket meat I watched on A Current Affair.
Apart from the adventure, inspiration and escape, there's another, much bigger reason for this trip - I just don’t know it yet.
In amongst the copious amounts of alcohol, pub crawls, new sights, new friends, weird accents and freedom from responsibility and commitment, I think it will reveal itself.
The third step of a big holiday: Going.
I’m a week away from jumping on the plane. It’s actually happening.
Here’s the plan, I'm putting together a list of things that I must complete before coming home. If I can get them all done, I'll deem the holiday a success.
Here they are, feel free to add any ideas.
Drink beer out of a red cup
Start writing a book
Attend a baseball game and any other US/Canadian sport in season.
Drive left-handed car without crashing
Give a homeless guy money
Win a game of beer pong
See a live gig
Get lost in NY - disgustingly lost
Full day on the beach doing absolutely nothing
Hit 26 black on roulette in Vegas
Have a Chicago deep dish pizza
Supersize something
Learn a new drinking game
Don't get shot
Don't get robbed
Eat a NY pretzel/food cart hotdog
Bon Voyage all, I’ll keep you updated with the blog as I go.
If anyone sees holiday Dom before I do, tell him to throw some beers in the fridge.
